Flying Llama's Roost

Warning: this entry might make some people squeamish.

So today I got a nice tour of KGH.
I also got some first hand experience with a particular medical condition called Testicular Torsion.
It's exactly what it sounds like - your testicle twists and cuts off its own blood flow. Generally, if this isn't surgically fixed within about 6 hours, there's a high chance the testicle will die, and then one becomes the One-Balled Wonder.
This can happen completely spontaneously - in my case, in my sleep.

So after sitting/laying/fetal-ing in my room for a while, in excruciating (10) pain ("On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt, how would you rate your pain?" - I got this particular sentence 4 times today), I decided I had to see someone, if only for some prescription pain-killers. So I slowly headed down to the Health and Disabilities center (stopping on the way to throw up from the pain), and saw a nurse. Who referred me to a doctor there. She took a look, said it might possibly be this rare thing that's called testicular torsion, and called KGH, where she pre-warned the emergency area that I was on the way, and got a hold of the urologist on duty. Handing me a letter and popping me in a cab, I was whisked off to the building a block away. (First time in a cab, no less...I thought the driver had to post his license somewhere...)

So first I wait to see the triage nurse. She takes my vitals signs, asks me to rate my pain, then makes me wait to see the reception nurse. This person then just gets my address, phone number, etc. and I'm off to see the urologist.

Who turned out to be a 30-something tall guy who graduated from Queen's biochemistry! Oh yeah, and he was the head of the urology dept. too...which is really impressive, considering his age. Anyway, he prodded and pushed and determined that, although it might be torsion (suggested, in the letter, by the doctor at the Queen's Health center), he thought, due to the areas where pain occurred most, it was just an infection of the epididymus. Just to be safe, though, he decided an ultra-sound was in order.

So I went down and waited...and waited...
Turns out only one ultra-sound machine was working, so I had to sit around, in agony, for about 20 minutes before I could go in. The pain is easier to deal with when you know something's happening, that someone is doing something to isolate the problem, but when all you're doing is waiting, and the doctors are all gone elsewhere, you're left alone with the pain and the nagging thought that it's already been 5 hours since the pain started.

The ultra-sound was fairly conclusive - my right testicle was getting pretty much 0 blood flow. The OR was booked, and I was wheeled up in a gurney, after leaving a message on Gary's machine (my parents were supposed to drive Gary, Brian, and I home this weekend, so they were just going to show up at 2:30. Since I couldn't get a hold of them, I wanted someone to know what was going on...). Got the gas, and woke up back in the room, operation successful.

Thank God.

Got wheeled around various recovery rooms, met up with my parents finally, installed a new power supply in my computer (or, rather, sat while Gary did so), and finally I was on my way home.

So I'm pretty much incapacitated for the next week or two ("Expect a lot of scrotal swelling for 1-2 weeks (*groan* Grapefruit Gonads :( ). No strenuous work for 1-2 weeks. No lifting heavy loads for 1-2 weeks").

This bites. I'm going to fall incredibly behind in Haidong Gumdo. Not to mention the fact that I have to walk around like a bad John Wayne imitation for the next week. And this diaper-like gauze contraption is kinda itchy...

At least I can still answer the question "Got Balls?" in the affirmative.
To all the nurses, doctors, anaesthesiasts, and technicians who helped me out today, my unborn children thank you.


Oh yeah, almost forgot - the moral of the story:
This is especially for all you guys out there - if something hurts, don't try to tough it out, thinking it will be ok. Nobody'll think you're a pussy or a wimp or a hypochondriac if you go see someone because something is hurting when it shouldn't.
The consequences of inaction are far worse than anything that could happen by just going down and seeing someone. For example, if I had waited for the pain to die down on its own (which it would have, once the testicle was completely dead), I would have felt fine.
Until it got infected...in which case I would again be in excrusiating pain, until I either saw someone or died of the infection. Once I got around to seeing someone, it might be too late to save the scrotum.
Bye-bye chance of having kids.
And, as my psyc prof says, my genes want kids.

So don't be a hyperchondriac (?), just get yourself checked out if something's not as it should be.

All hail Justin (of Gary's Gael Group)!!!

He lent me his old power supply at dinner, and after a bit of fiddling to get it installed, my comp is back up and running.
But not for long - there's no way I'm going to keep this thing on while there's a chance of another power outage, while not having a surge-protection power bar.

So I'll be running from my laptop until I can secure said power bar, hopefully sometime this weekend...

I am so incredibly glad that it was best case scenario:
It sucks that my power supply got fried, but my motherboard and everything else seem alright.
So I got lucky, this time.

In a completely different matter today, I learned that prayer actually does work.
Elaboration is not forthcoming.

And there was great rejoicing

Fuck this place.

Those fucktards in charge of our building decided it would be in the best interest of everyone to play with the power today, turning it off for a few hours.

So the power shuts off (an hour or so after it was supposed to), and I have to leave for my Haidong Gumdo class. When I come back, the power is back on. So I go to turn my computer on.
*click*
Nothing.

So I reset the power bar.
Still nothing.

I turn the main power at the back of the case off, unplug everything, plug everything back in, flip the switch on the back and press the button on the front.
Nothing.

Everything else plugged into that power bar works, just not my computer. It's dead to the world. Best I've managed to get is a high-pitched electric whine from the power supply. So I'm fucked.

Best case scenario - I need a new power supply.
Worst case scenario - I need a new computer, as well as losing a bitchload of information, some of which is absolutely vital. At least I backed up most of the important stuff to my laptop.
About a month ago! >:(

Oh yeah, did I mention that my liquid funds equal roughly $600, and that I've put down a deposit which requires that I pay another $80 within the next couple of months.
Anyone know where I can get a decent computer for under $500?
No?
Didn't fucking think so.

fuck fuck fuck FUCK!!!

Someone is going to pay...

I believe that a firm grasp of the English language should be required of anyone attempting to work as a TA. Point in case: I got my physics lab back today, and scrawled in it was "but where is the q value when d equal to 0? and its error?".
Directly below this was the following sentence (from my original lab):
"From the graph, the value of q as d approaches 0 is approximately 0.0002 +/- 0.000006 ms."

ahem.
Maybe she just wasn't reading my lab at all, and just assigned a random mark or something. I talked to my prof about, specifically, a "mistake" I had made in an error calculation later. He looked at it, agreed that I was right, and then went and talked to my TA.

In the end, I got one more mark, giving me 8/10 (not too bad, but I could have done better...). My prof came back and said "I don't think she really read any of your text very well..." or something to that effect. He seemed kinda ticked off, whether it was at me or at the TA, I'm not sure.

But shouldn't we have more competent TAs? Again, I remember trying to ask a question of this particular one, and she could neither understand my question, nor formulate a real answer, mostly I believe because she was not well enough versed in the English language. In the general public, this is fine, but in a university where students are assumed to have very high language proficiency, and are expected to write in a professional, scientific way (which sometimes means writing in a pedantic manner), to be marked by someone who can't grasp this level of language is unacceptable.

oh well...hopefully the other guy will mark my thing next time...fat chance...the only good thing is that I now know I dont' need so much text - the calculations without much explanation will suffice. :)

Alright, so first it was the power last night, and now the internet went down for half an hour.
But only on my side of the hall.
And we got power an hour later than the other side of the hall last night (the other side of the hall got power at least an hour after the rest of the building did...)

Judging by this, I feel that someone hates the first floor of Stuart, and, in particular, the South side of the hall of the East wing.
Arg...

I am so fuggin' tired...wish I could nap, but have classes 'til 5:30, and Haidong at 7:15...

Ok, so I'm blogging from Gary's here since Stuart is currently without power.

That's right, we have no power. In the brand new rez. That we paid extra money for.
Bah! >:(

Then again, compared to Vic's 3-4 fire alarms per week, I guess this isn't too bad...

I was about to blog just as the power went out...which is annoying, because I know I wanted to rant about something, but I can't remember what it was now. Perhaps it will come back to me, perhaps not.

Now some random thoughts:
a) The pool table at the Common Ground sucks. But not as much as I do. Why did they get rid of the chalk? And cues with heads?
c) Don't you hate it when you want to talk to people and they never go on ICQ and allow you to add them to your contact list?
d) Related to that, don't you hate it when you meet someone, want to get to know them better, then completely forget what they look like (like, if you were to see them on a street you would know that you've seen them before, but not know who they are), and only have an ICQ contact? (Well, I guess I could get a phone number, but I don't want to seem like a stalker....)

Yeah...I suck...stupid memory (or lack thereof)...wish I at least had a class with her.

Oh yeah, I am constantly surprised by people who don't know that Jocye and I broke up.
So there you have it.
Happened about 2 weeks ago, it was mutual, it was friendly, we're still friends...
I think that covers about any questions you might have...you can go back to your regular lives now.

I hear the power might be back on in Stuart...even if it isn't, I should probably get some shut-eye...
Stupid 8:30 class...and it's calc.
And I don't have another class until 12:30...why do I even bother going?

'night, cowboys

Some guy called to me in the caf today.
I looked around, only to find myself face-to-face with...
...Karthik!

I had no idea he was at Queen's, and it was just random chance that I ran into him today....
Of course, being me, I had forgotten his name - I knew who he was, just couldn't remember his name...which was embarrassing when he started with "do you remember who I am?" and I had to stumble for a while and eventually ask him his name :(

Yeah, I found that kinda cool...
Probably not totally blog-worthy, but at least it's something...
Gotta go get my laundry and run to class....maybe I'll post something more later.

It's been far too long since I've gone to church, so after last night's One Love event (which was a very diametric event: part 1 was a mixture of song and comedy, while after intermission, part 2 was more solemn, with a sermon of sorts (humorous at points) being given by one of the deans, and more solemn music, as well as prayer time), I decided to accompany Gary to Bethel today.

For the 8:15 service.

After being up 'til 2:30 and 12:30 the past two nights.

Usually after that last sentence, I'd have a single line: "bad idea".
Except, in this case, it was a good idea...it was nice being back in a congregation, doing the church thing. Only I might have wanted to go to a later service, in retrospect.

Still, there is one thing that makes me uncomfortable at church - the singing. This was probably the biggest reason I stopped going to church (besides the new pastor at Markham Baptist, who could never compare to Bill, and the fact that I liked sleeping in :P). I really just don't want to make others uncomfortable with my terrible singing...I don't want them to have to cringe during hymns (which, at Bethel, are more like rock songs, with full band...Markham Baptist had only piano and organ...not sure which I prefer yet).
And y'all know how bad I am at singing in a group. When singing solo, I'm only tone-deaf, but at least I maintain some form of melodic line. While in a group, I end up being both out of tune AND completely monotone, which is even worse than out-of-tune-ness. I think it's largely because I can't hear myself at all...

Regardless, I think I'll continue to torture myself with early sunday mornings to get to church. And hopefully not annoy everyone with my atrocious singing.

Alright, so minty green it is...for now.
I may change the colors around now and then...who knows?

And if you don't like it, give me an (r,g,b) value for the color you want to see it in, and I may consider using it (color is to code for background, the rest of it is done automatically based on the background color)

It could almost be like a sort of contest - the Help Colorblind Lee contest...

Ok, so I've given it a bit more thought, and there's just too much marketing/promoting/business sense needed to get "Ultra-Violet Golden Vox" to actually work, so...I think I'm just gonna scrap that idea.

I think sometime this weekend I'm going to try to set the color scheme for this site, once and for all...which means going through really weird HTML code on the template. Hopefully I won't screw something up too severely...

Ok, I need some feedback here - Vox at Queen's.

I've noticed we have a poetry/prose/art mag (ultra-violet), and we have a comedy newspaper (GW), but we don't have a synthesis of the two - poetry, prose, or art that can be both artistic and/or humorous, a sort of melange of the best of these two pre-existing publications, without the emphasis on beer, scotch, and swearing (ok, maybe we can have a bit of that). Also, it would have a release schedule between that of UV (twice a year, I think), and GW (every week).

Does anyone think this is feasible? Does anyone want to help out?
Leave your thoughts...

"You know all the Asian girls"

Mike, Eoin, I'm sorry to disappoint you - this isn't true...
...yet. >:)

"Sex is the prime reason for society"
So says Peter Gray, a leading expert in psychology, and so it must be.

So ladies, bring on the loving. :)
(after all, it's what we're here for)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCE!!!

Just came back from talking to her, and I feel better. She's a good person to talk to - certainly no Nitasha, but I think she's the closest I've got here at Queen's. And by this, I mean no offence to Joyce, it's just that nobody can match Nitasha when you just need a friend to talk to.

Tasha, I really miss you...you were always a rock of support, and a great friend.
God, I sound like I'm delivering a eulogy here...

So University can be all it's cracked up to be - full of crazy parties where alcohol flows like water, the music shakes the building, and rowdiness reigns.
It's everything I feared it would be.

I'm beginning to feel alienated. It certainly seems that alcohol is the social norm, and we who abstain, and stay away from the keggers, lingerie/fondue parties, etc., become more and more removed from the pulse of campus life, such as it is. I mean, just look at the rules - an underage student buying beer to share with other underage students is subject to the same disciplinary action than someone waiting in another residence's common room to play pool with a friend. I don't have it as bad as some down here - it's not like everyone on my floor drinks and parties (although I'm sure 90% of them drink to some extent), but even so I find I can't find common ground with most of the people on my floor. And alcohol is only one part of that.
That having been said, there are some people here that I'm beginning to befriend, both on my floor, in my gael group, or just through random encounters (two of the people I talk to most I met because they lived on the same floor as a fellow Markham-ite). But I feel (and I may be wrong) that most of these people are as alienated as I. It doesn't seem to bug them, tho.

And there's the difference: I am perturbed. I want to be part of this culture, not because I approve of it but because it's where I am. I feel like a Christian in Israel, a black man in China, a brunette in Sweden.
I think you understand where I'm going. But I can't seem to just dive in, for 2 reasons:
1) I have the "Gary factor" - a sense of morality based on my religion. True, my objections, sense of morality, and religious fervor are not as strong as his, but they exist nontheless. I can't drink, act rowdy and stupid, or be promiscuous, because they violate inherent moral senses inside myself.
2) Intimidation - yeah, I'll admit it, I get scared easily, especially in social situations. People who drink intimidate me - I feel I can't accurately predict what they may or may not do, and that scares me, kinda like the SPED kids in 2nd hall scared me - you never knew when they'd run into you, or violently bang on the stall door while you're trying to use the facilities. Likewise, you never know when a drunk will get in your face, or suddenly get violent, or do some other random, non-socially acceptable thing. Now maybe I'm being paranoid, and rationally I know that not all drunks are like this, and that not everyone who drinks is drunk. Regardless, my experiences have been that almost everyone becomes very...friendly...like, in-your-face asking-questions-from-2-inches-away, and that both intimidates me and makes me sick. Besides that, I could never imagine that "cool" people would ever want to associate with me anyway.
And that's another problem with my view of life - I can't seem to meet people without instantly compartmentalizing them into groups. Often, this will merely take one aspect of their personality or self, or even just a perceived personality trait, and put them in a group which I "don't associate with". It's fucking annoying, I hate when I do it, yet I can't seem to prevent it from happening.

Added to this frustration, I want a woman. One who's mature, self-confident, intelligent, independent, and able to navigate the sea of university society.
In other words, someone who's everything I'm not....

Standing at the edge, edge of it all
Spitting off the top, watch the day unfurl.
Cannot see a view from this place,
Clouds are on the rise, world is out of faith.
Took another pill to find my way
Just hope that you'll be there
'Cause this is my way out of it tonight,
And this is my last chance to ease the fire.
This is my way out of it,
Tonight I might find one way to get through
How about you?

Damn I need sleep. Excessive tiredness makes me introspective, and coupled with exhaustion (which generally leads to a more pessimistic, depressed mindset) this is a bad thing.

My thoughts are starting to gravitate very much like the ones Dan's of a few days ago (I'm sorry man, I just read it now...I'm here if you need me, at any time whatsoever), only without the "why do people hang out with me?" (because they don't).

Anyway, more to come on this, possibly...gotta jet for now.

What better way to take your mind off being written up (for "tailgating" into another residence, even though our "escort" was coming to meet us in the common room...and for violating the "guest:escort ratio"...fucking tight-ass power-trippy McNellie "House President") than a late night swim in Lake Ontario?

Actually, the lake isn't as cold as you'd think it would be at 11:30 at night...that having been said, I think I've developed hypothermia. Curse you, Undergrads! Why did I have to watch the "traditions" episode today? (summary: Nitz decides not to take part in a tradition of running naked in the snow cuz it's stupid and makes no sense, yet does at the end anyway because he came to college to "do crazy and stupid things"...) Oh well...the Lee-zer...or something...

Anyway, better get in my nice warm bed before I actually do develop a bad medical condition...and I have an 8:30 class tomorrow...oi!

Is anyone else having a problem with MSN (Messenger) spontaneously logging out, then being incapable of logging back in?
Anyone know how to fix this?

Please, somebody has to keep me away from used CD stores. I spend far too much money at these places.

On a related note, here's a good rationale for not drinking: why buy a tiny bottle of Smirnoff when you can get the new David Usher CD for the same price?

The CD will provide you with many many more hours of entertainment, plus you're supporting the Canadian music industry (artists, producers, engineers, technicians, the whole nine yards), and you won't have a hangover in the morning (unless you listen to it repeatedly at extraordinarily high volumes).
Plus you get a cool little mini-CD too...

So, to summarize: music > alcohol, in many ways.
Similarly, computer games > alcohol (especially since you can pirate them for cheap).
You could even use the same procedure of cost:entertainment/fun ratio to prove that clubs > alcohol, sports > alcohol (here you could even go into a biochemical discussion of how adrenalin is more of a rush than alcohol, and doesn't affect your body negatively)...the list goes on and on.

So why drink when you can spend your hard-earned (and extraordinarily limited) money on more long-lasting forms of enjoyment/entertainment which have no side-effects?
And I learned something last night - I don't need alcohol to get stupid and distracted as if I were drunk. All I need is sleep-deprivation (which is free, btw).

Anyway, that's a longer tirade than I imagined I'd write...and it was all just spur-of-the-moment type thing...not even sure what precipitated that. But that's always been one of my biggest arguements against alcohol - the cost:enjoyment ratio (along with the shitty taste of stuff like beer, and the fact that I can't stand being at any less than 100% of my optimum functioning capabilities).
Now, of course, if the drinks are free, that's another story...

You know you're geeky when...

You get excited when your physics text talks about derivatives, something that hasn't even been mentioned in calc class yet.
(Did I mention earlier I can't stand math121?)

Alright, props to my man Dan for helping figure out this picture hosting uploading thing.
Yay for Upload-It!

Alright, yay free hosting with FTP - easiest way to get your pics online...

Not too many, unfortunately - I was too afraid to bring my camera to anywhere it could have been damaged. But I did get a few. Here's my gael group all decked out for the semi-formal. This here would be a group of us trying to do our "year dance" to our "year song" (Don't Walk Away Eileen, by Sam Roberts). And, finally, we have an exceptionally blurry shot of Matt Good.

That's all for now, let's enjoy the first real weekend of university.

Alright, so for all you who haven't been here before, welcome.
The colors on this site are randomly generated (and should change every time you refresh), so it's not always hot pink/puke green/ultra-violet/etc. Normally you get a nice color. But sometimes you don't. It's like Russian Roulette without the bullets, guns, alcohol, or Russians.

For all those who have followed me from the old site, welcome back.

Ok, so I'm abandoning my post-once-a-day philosophy, since I'm at the big U now, but I'll try to keep y'all up to date with my (un-) exciting life, my (non-existant) drunken escapades, and perhaps I'll even let you know of my (fictitious) romantic escapades.

Anyway, once I find a program/way to reduce the size of some of the pics I took, I'll upload them and show you a little bit of what frosh week was like for me.

Classes: so far, so good. Kinda boring, since most of it's review. Yet most of the profs are good, I just wish Professor McLean would post the assignment that was supposed to be up last night.
Who else can't stand Math121? Most boring class ever - bad teacher, stupid students. And a large class size to boot. Hopefully we'll get into some actual semi-challenging calculus sometime later this term...I'll be eating these words in a few weeks, I'm sure.

So look for pics later, I'm out for now.

~See you Space Cowboy

So I'm here now...since Bri took away my Vox account...
Finally found stuff to blog about - actually, it's more like it's Friday night, I'm bored, and I don't want to start on my reading/assignments/studying/tutorial questions yet.

Still working out kinks on this site...much longer post (maybe some pics) to follow.